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Rukhsat or Raja (Farewell)

Invariably the girl would be taken away, after the ceremonies were done with, to the bridegroom’s residence. Close relatives and friends were invited to the ceremonial farewell which involved a formal handing over of the bride to her newly acquired mother- in- law by placing her right hand in the latter’s right hand.  A copy of Holy Qur’an and a Musalla (a prayer mat) were then placed in her hands. The entourage was provided with a pack of sweets; food, usually biriyani, in a non-returnable Deyg (a large, tin-lined copper vessel for cooking biriyani), and accompaniments that go with it. The Peda box, would be the last item to accompany. Both the boy and the girl kiss the hands of the parents of the girl, friends and relatives in attendance. No cash gifts were made on this occasion.

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The couple would travel to their residence in a Rikshaw. It was also a practice  to take the bride in a bullock cart or Jhadka, single horse drawn cart, accompanied by the sister or a cousin of the bridegroom, and one or two girls of her age or younger. Others followed in similar carts or walked the distance. That was the practice until cycle rikshaws, later cars and autorickshaws became available, and bullock carts ceased to exit. For out of town journeys, longer community travel facilities such as Tapalvandis drawn by two or four bullocks were used. Travel to Kollam, Kayamkulam or Alappuzha used to be by passenger boats starting from the Chacka boat Jetty.

 

Nekhetti

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On arrival at the bridegroom’s residence the entourage was formally received by a few members of the household who would have left early to make necessary arrangements. The bride’s feet were washed by a sister or a cousin. In much older times, the boy’s mother never used to join the baratis and stayed back home. In such a case it was her privilege to welcome the daughter-in-law and wash her feet. The bride was guided to step in with her right foot. Her first act after entering the house was to kiss the hand of her mother-in-law and the elders, especially those who had not been at the Nikah.
 

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Nekhetti was the first function at the bridegroom’s place after the bride’s arrival.  Friends and relatives, including those who were there in the barat, were invited to see the new incumbent of the household.  Men considered as Mehram to all the women present were permitted to participate. With others the bride, as a rule, observed pardah. 

       Nose Pin and metti

The bride seated prominently, the women, beginning with the mother-in-law, fed her with small bits of Sakkar (sugarcandy) as she would kiss their hands. The bride was then gifted with Hath Chummani. The mother-in-law would present her a gold Nose Pin (Nakk ji Siri) with one, five or seven stones and a pair of silver toe rings (Metti) which were to be worn always as symbols of her status as a married woman.  Cutchi Memon women held these three symbols as very sacred tokens of the solemn bondage until death would part them

The guests were, traditionally, served with Nankhattai and white tea made of sago, cardamom and a touch of tea leaves boiled in milk. It was also a custom to display the Pachchi to the invitees who had not attended the display at the Seerani.

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The Nuptial

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The first night of the couple would be arranged after the Nekhetti at the bridegroom’s residence with no fanfare. Their bedroom would be tastefully decorated. The only formality that remained was that a married sister or cousin should usher the girl to the bedroom with the blessings of and under instructions from the mother-in-law or the senior most lady of the house. The bride would carry a lotta of milk and a brass tumbler which she should offer to the husband. He should drink half of it and offer the rest to the girl who should drink the same, as a token of their agreement to share everything in life.

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