POLYGAMY AND DIVORCE
POLYGAMY
Cutchi Memons were essentially a monogamic community; although one could find cases of polygamy, particularly among the affluent. Cases had also happened when the man had to live away from the wife for long durations on account of work or business. It should be appreciated that absence of suitable accommodation and provision for food at the place of work also induced a need for a local marriage. Muta, a temporary marriage, was available as a solution to the Shia community, but it was not acceptable to Sunnis. Hence the subsequent marriage became a permanent feature. Here again, the first wife was from their own community while only the subsequent ones were from the local or Dakhni communities. It was extremely rare to have the second wife Cutchi Memon, unless the first wife sufferred from some serious disease or was barren for a long time; such marriages took place essentially with her approval or based on her desire. We have no clear evidence to determine whether the second and subsequent marriages had the consent of the senior wife / wives required under the Shariah. In all probability the answer is in the negative. Nonetheless, the senior wives appear to have accepted it as fait accompli and lived with amity, not withstanding the frequent quarrels. However such multiple marriages had not ended in the senior wife seeking Khula. As a rule, the wives were provided with separate houses and it was extremely rare to have them living under the same roof, unless a second marriage was sponsored by the senior. in cases of extreme unacceptability the senior would desire to live alone with her children or to go back to her parents or other relatives, if they could afford; still not asking for Khula. Even though a subsequent wife had a stronger influence on the husband or the husband was more inclined towards her, he would, generally, put an air of treating them equally for all practical purposes, thus maintaining an atmosphere of cordiality. As a result most of such half brothers and half sisters were found to be helping and cooperating with each other, ignoring the fact that they were born of different mothers. In turn, the mothers were also compelled to gracefully accept the situation. Afterall, the Shariah permits a man to have four wives at a time and so there was no reason to complain unless one was totally ignored, tortured or starved of life support.
DIVORCE
Divorces were pretty rare among Cutchi Memons, except in cases of incompatibility. Triple utterance of talaq was not accepted by the community which had very clear procedures in the matter. The intending person should first declare his intention directly to the Jamaath Setth and the father or other head of the wife's family by a letter addressed to them or by word of mouth specifying the reasons for the decision. The recipient should call upon the woman and explain the matter to her and enquire whether she would accept the allegations made. If she accepted the allegation, then it was their duty to assess how serious the matter was and to find a way to reconcile the two. If she didn't it was also necessary to go deeper into it and find the truth so as to secure a solution. Either way the Jamaath Setth and the relatives had the responsibility to persuade the two to come to an amicable understanding. A month's time was allowed for this exercise. If the husband insisted on the divorce or the reasons advanced in the original complaint were repeated, it was for the Setth to admonish the woman, but at the same time to persuade the man to forgive her and find a way to live together, on receiving an apology from her. A further period of one month was granted to the couple to reconcile the differences. If that too failed then Setth would offer a solution which was binding on both. If either of them refused to accept it and living together was found impossible then the Setth had to declare the relationship terminated after the third month. The same procedure was followed in the case of Khula demanded by the wife. However, the letter or the presentation of the case could be done by her father or brother, if so desired.
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On such termination the seeker of the divorce had to return the entire jewels and cash received as Pachchi and re-transfer any land or building brought in by the wife. She had to return the ornaments given by the husband, only if they were still with her and she was under no obligation to return the Mahar even if the Khula was initiated by her. In fact the husband asking for the divorce should make good the Mahar that she would have returned at Mohwattani and also the unsettled portion of promissory Mahar, if any. If any of the ornaments brought in as Pachchi had been appropriated by the husband, then he should compensate for them in equivalent quantity of gold or value at current market price. Moreover, she had the right to retrieve all the khat-paathar and other contributions of the family.
Right to custody and responsibility for the living and other expenses of the children was another issue. It was the right of the mother to have the custody of boys under the age of 12 and girls irrespective of their age. Boys above 12 had the privilege of deciding with who they should go. The father was bound to meet the living expenses of the children under the mother's care, the amount payable being decided by the Setth, taking into account the status of the father, social and financial. As a matter of fact such stringent regulations made divorces extremely rare.