The Nikah
Receiving the Barat
​
The procession stopped at a convenient distance from the pandal where the party was expected to be formally received. It was the duty and privilege of the bride’s brother, however young or old he might be, to garland and receive the bridegroom while the father or other authorized persons welcomed the baratis garlending them and springling rosewater from a Gulabdani. The bridegroom would be presented with a specially made bouquet of flowers. His garland also was heavy and specially made for the occasion.
​
It was an established custom that the bridegroom should leave his footwear at the entrance. The boys, cousins and nephews of the girl, waited nearby to steal his footwear. They would, later when he would need them, bargain for a ransom (Mitthai ja paisa) for their return.
Seating of the guests and certain others had a rigorous protocol. The bridegroom had a central place, on a decorated cushion or mattress (gadhlo) or if there was a platform, then on a majestic chair. The Qazi sat on his left and his father, or the senior most barati, on the right, the Jamaath Setth occupying the seat next on the right. Then the elders from both sides were seated in close proximity to these gentlemen as the space would permit.
Obtaining Consent of the Bride
​
The proceedings of the Nikah started with a ceremonial Eijab and Qubool process. Two men, who were not closely related to the girl or were not involved in arranging the alliance, were appointed by the Qazi, as shawayids-witnesses- to enquire with the girl and confirm her consent to being married to the particular person, the bridegroom. Customarily, one of them used to be the Setth or his nominee and the second any senior person present, known for his impartiality. A third person, ostensibly familiar with the girl’s voice, would lead them to the area set apart for women, partitioned with opaque pardah. The girl would be seated close enough to the partition. The two enquirers approach the girl from outside, one of the enquirers would declare the name of the bridegroom and his father’s name and ask her if she was willing to be married to him for a stated amount of Mahar (consideration for the marriage) and if she would give her free consent for the nikah to be performed. The girl would normally give her consent, although in a feeble voice. Some lady from inside would also announce that the girl has uttered her consent. The enquirers return to the majlis and publicly announce the consent.
​
The Vakil
According to the Shariah only the father of the girl is the rightful person to perform the nikah if he is alive. Otherwise it could be a paternal uncle and in his absence, a male member of the father’s family; in the absence of any such eligible person it could be a male guardian. If none such is available the girl can nominate any man as her Vakil. In such circumstances the Setth or the Qazi himself can assume the responsibility. Any of the above authorized individuals can delegate the power to yet another person, out of regard for seniority or respect, as Vakil. The Vakil will be seated across the bridegroom facing him and the Qazi.
​
The Contract of Marriage
The process continued with the Qazi making a short speech in which he would announce that Nikah is part of the Prophet’s Sunnah, how Allah had blessed various prophets and their wives as virtuous pairs, and describe the mutual responsibilities of the husband and wife. Thereafter, he would dictate to the girl’s father or the Vakil phrases to be uttered formally, saying that he has given the girl to him as his legal wife, in marriage by nikah, for a specified sum of money, in terms of the currency currently in use, as Mahar. This was repeated three times. The Qazi then dictated the phrases of acceptance to the bridegroom to the effect that he, the bridegroom, accepted the named girl, daughter of so and so, as his lawful wife for a consideration of the stated amount of Mahar in the specified currency, which the bridegroom repeated thrice. The utterances constituting the nikah were given in a loud whisper good enough for the two relatives, one from each side, designated as witnesses to the Nikah sitting close by, to hear. It was a strong custom among Cutchi Memons to keep the amount of Mahar to a low two or three digit figure. Promissory Mahar was not acceptable.These restrictions had the twin effect of keeping the amount within the affordability of every member of the Jamaath and avoiding future breaches leading to social issues, at the same time preventing show offs. Whatever be the announced amount, it had to be handed over to the bride as soon as the bridegroom had pronounced his vow. Only on receipt of the confirmation of having done so, the marriage contract was considered as complete and legitimised. It will then be solemnized by the Qazi by rendering an appropriate prayer for the well being of the newly wedded couple.
It had always been expressed as a solemn wish of every bride and her mother to hear the vows of nikah but had to be satisfied with the sermon and the concluding Fatiha that were made aloud. No nikahnama or other document was in use. Introduction of a marriage register was a later development around 1935.
Soon after the nikah the bridegroom kissed the elders’ hands in certain order – the Qazi, father, father-in-law, Jamaath Setth, elders on the dais according to seniority – guided by the father or a knowledgeable elder. Other relatives, friends and guests would greet him by hugging, no kissing of hands. In the meantime the audience would be served with a sherbet.
Hath Chummani
Giving expensive or packaged gifts or presents was not there in the original schema except the contributions of Nanathro and Dadathro towards Pachchi. Sometimes presents from aunts could be added to this. However, on ceremonial occasions that follow, where Hath Chummani was invoked, the bride and the bridegroom were given small amounts of cash as a token of blessing, originally two Koris or its equivalent. A Kori was the smallest denomination of currency of Cutch. In Travancore it was two Kallis (two fanams – pronounced as Panam, seven fanams made a rupee). Odd number of coins were generally discouraged and avoided in making such cash gifts. The same custom prevailed when the new couple would visit elder relatives, first time after marriage and kissed their hands in reverence. In some households the visiting couple were given two whole coconuts tied together, following an older custom, which doesn't appear to have been inherited from Cutch, but rather innovated after their settling in Travancore and having acquired some coconut farms.
​
Mohwatani
​
The first ceremony following the nikah was the Mohwatani, showing or seeing the face of the bride, colloquial Moptani. Soon after the greetings and salutations at the dais were over, the bridegroom would be taken by the bother-in-law to the ladies’ enclosure. By then the bride would have been shifted to a separate room or enclosure where she would sit, her face still veiled by the Khombi. The bride had all along, since she put on the dress that came as Pedo, been sitting veiled by the Khombi. Nobody, male or female had the right or permission to unveil her, even for feeding, until the nikah was over and the bridegroom had lifted the veil and seen her face. Anybody, knowingly or unknowingly, contravening this rule was condemned as causing the marriage nullified, even if it were the bride herself exposing her face except in perfect seclusion.The bridegroom would be led by a married sister or cousin to this room.
Now came the turn of young girls to fleece the bridegroom. They blocked his entry to the bride’s room asking for a compensation for losing their sister to him. A bargain would continue until an older girl or an adult intervened as a mediator to fix the amount. The bridegroom would accept and pay before entering. The door was closed after he entered, the sister standing guard outside to prevent anyone inadvertently trying to enter or to peep into it.
​Once in the reserved enclosure the bridegroom gains the right and privilege to lift the veil and see his bride’s face. He would then adorn her with a gold ring on her third finger of the right hand (ring finger), which she would honour and keep on the finger as a token of their bounden relationship and mutual devotion forever. The girl, in turn, would reciprocate by putting a ring on his ring finger. He should then press a piece of sugarcandy (Kalkandu, Sakkar) into her mouth. Incidentally Sakkar in Cutchi also means a kiss. Now, the primary formalities over, the bride would return the Mahar to the bridegroom inforing hi that her Mahar was gratis for him. Though she would not say it in so any worlds, it implied that his promised love and protection were a sufficient consideration for the relationship. Mohwattani also served as an opportunity of acquainting for the two who might not have seen each other earlier; boy seeing the girl before marriage did not exist as a part of the process.
​
After finishing mohwattani the bride and the bridegroom would leave the room to be taken by the lady on guard to the ladies' gathering. They would first kiss the hands of his mother, if present, his elder sisters and other elders. He would then kiss the hands of the mother-in-law and elder relatives present, none else, under the guidance of his mother or an aunt or a sister, followed by the bride. It was also customary for the mother-in-law to present the son-in-law with a ring or a bracelet and for the other ladies to gift cash. It was also a practice to make a Gor.
​
