Marriage
Cutchi Memon marriage was a long drawn process characterized by numerous customary practices overloaded with protocols and spiced with egoist behaviour. Extravagance was phenomenal.
Various customary practices can be viewed by classifying them sequentially into events once associated with pomp and glory, the ghosts and skeletons of which still persist with the community in different dimensions.
The period just prior to the Nikah used to be long, extending upto one month, though it got reduced to a week and then to a day in the present time. The long periods were characterized by a number of events both at the bride's and bridegroom's residences. Essentially it was a time to receive friends and relatives and to entertain them according to the affordability of the parties concerned. Pandals used to be erected, and decorated tastefully, for the purpose. There is an old adage saying 'Mhedi todi ne mandwo addayo' pointing to the extravagance of demolishing palatial buildings and putting up pandals for marriages in their place.
Prior to proceeding with the arrangements for the Nikah two things were mandatory. One, Girl’s father and the boy’s father should get a clearance from the Jamath Seth and pay the Lago (Fee for recognizing the marriage). If the bridegroom belonged to a different Jamaath, written clearance from the Seth of that Jamaath was also needed. The clearances were required as a social security measure to ensure that the bridegroom was genuinely eligible to marry. It was the prerogative and privilege of the Qazi of the bride’s Jamaath to conduct the proceedings of Nikah, part of which he might, at his sole discretion, delegate to any other person qualified to conduct a marriage, who could be a priest or even an elderly relative.
Sadqa in kind was mandatory for both sides. Depending on affordability, a goat or a rooster was given away live as sadqa together with a measure of rice and a set of new clothing after they are circulated about the head of the bride / bridegroom, just before setting out for nikah. The usual recipient was the Hajjam. Interestingly, only a black beast or black fowl was given as sadqa.
View the various elements that make a Marriage what it was..